I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
