I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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