what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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