my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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