Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
