Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
