I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
