You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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