alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
