so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
you had me at cake vodka
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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