now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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