You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Nicole vs. Life
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
