Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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