Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
did i just pee glitter
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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