yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
