if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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