Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
