I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
