Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You ruined the universe
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize