you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
