i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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