It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
