I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
