that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
