I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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