"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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