Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
