4 words: hood of his car
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
