The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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