at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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