He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
