I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize