well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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