He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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