just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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