he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
