we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
