He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize