No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
being pregnant is like rehab
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
