I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
