nut hugger
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
