spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
