Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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