So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
