My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
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Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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