I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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