I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize