We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
