as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize