I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
