she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
