Well douche your snatch and let's go!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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