guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
