I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
