You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
