Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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