I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
