He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
