just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
