we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
