I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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