no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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