I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
