Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize