I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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